Read Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead By Brené Brown

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The #1 New York Times bestseller. More than 2 million copies sold!Look for Brené Brown’s new podcast, Dare to Lead, as well as her ongoing podcast Unlocking Us!From thought leader Brené Brown, a transformative new vision for the way we lead, love, work, parent, and educate that teaches us the power of vulnerability.  “It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; . . . who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly.”—Theodore RooseveltEvery day we experience the uncertainty, risks, and emotional exposure that define what it means to be vulnerable or to dare greatly. Based on twelve years of pioneering research, Brené Brown PhD, LMSW, dispels the cultural myth that vulnerability is weakness and argues that it is, in truth, our most accurate measure of courage.Brown explains how vulnerability is both the core of difficult emotions like fear, grief, and disappointment, and the birthplace of love, belonging, joy, empathy, innovation, and creativity. She writes: “When we shut ourselves off from vulnerability, we distance ourselves from the experiences that bring purpose and meaning to our lives.” Daring Greatly is not about winning or losing. It’s about courage. In a world where “never enough” dominates and feeling afraid has become second nature, vulnerability is subversive. Uncomfortable. It’s even a little dangerous at times. And, without question, putting ourselves out there means there’s a far greater risk of getting criticized or feeling hurt. But when we step back and examine our lives, we will find that nothing is as uncomfortable, dangerous, and hurtful as standing on the outside of our lives looking in and wondering what it would be like if we had the courage to step into the arena—whether it’s a new relationship, an important meeting, the creative process, or a difficult family conversation. Daring Greatly is a practice and a powerful new vision for letting ourselves be seen.

Book Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead Review :

Growing up in a household where obedience is won through criticism, belittling and shaming, it's little wonder I reached adult hood in a poor state of mind and body. With no self-esteem or confidence and full of toxic shame, I wasn't happy with myself in any shape or form. I truly disliked myself, and felt as if everyone else did too. I was a HUGE perfectionist, and very, very hard on myself.Though I am still a work in progress (I'm 22 currently), I can look back and see how far I've come, and it is all thanks to Brene Brown: her books, her Ted talks, her program, etc. This is my favorite book of hers, though.If you don't feel worthy of love and belonging, if you feel lesser than everyone else; if you can't forgive yourself for your mistakes or your terrible moments or the stupid things you've done in life; if you can't accept your humanness; if you can't show your face or eyes to others due to shame; if you can't own up to your mistakes for fear of judgement; if you compare yourself to others; if you constantly strive to prove yourself to others but feel as if you never measure up; then this book is for you.I have read it through and then listened to the whole book about 3 times. I need to be reminded again and again what it means to Dare Greatly, as I have lived most of my life hiding and trying to protect myself. Every time I hear the words in this book, I can't help but say "Yes! Yes! Yes!" over and over again. It all makes such simple sense. I also cannot hear Brene's words - in book or talks - without crying, because they are some of the most beautiful words to my ears there ever was.We are not in this alone, and our worth is not something that can be measured.I am planning to get some of her books this Christmas for my family, who all badly need to hear her message and don't bother to look her up despite my urging. I will also have all her books on my shelf someday when I have kids, for them to all read as they are growing up, so that they don't grow up in fear, with low self-worth and full of shame, and to also give them the courage to dare greatly. (Of course I will parent differently than I was raised, and that will make a difference. ;) )I would give this book a 10 star rating if I could.
For some reason, the author intentionally tries to confuse the reader about what the meaning of the word "vulnerability" is, insisting that we accept her own definition instead of the one that we all know about: vulnerability by definition means exposure to possible harm or increased risk of attack. I looked hard for any other meaning and did not find it. She uses different definitions at different times in the book. For a researcher, this is very sloppy thinking in my view. This reminds me of Depak Chopra's abuse of the word "quantum" in his statements. If you redefine words to fit your own ideas, then of course you are going to meet resistance from people who use the words in the way they are intended and not your own weird way.Here is an example of her weird logic at work. She says, "When discussing vulnerability, it is helpful to look at the definition and etymology of the word vulnerable. According to the Merriam-Webster Dictionary, the word vulnerability is derived from the Latin word vulnerare, meaning “to wound.” The definition includes “capable of being wounded” and “open to attack or damage.” Merriam-Webster defines weakness as the inability to withstand attack or wounding. Just from a linguistic perspective, it’s clear that these are very different concepts, and in fact, one could argue that weakness often stems from a lack of vulnerability”. Um nope. Weakness often stems from a lack of admitting your own vulnerabilities to yourself, or not sharing them with people that can support you with them. But weakness does not stem from a lack of vulnerability.Here's another example. She says, “Vulnerability is based on mutuality and requires boundaries and trust. It’s not oversharing, it’s not purging, it’s not indiscriminate disclosure, and it’s not celebrity-style social media information dumps. Vulnerability is about sharing our feelings and our experiences with people who have earned the right to hear them. Being vulnerable and open is mutual and an integral part of the trust-building process.” Nope. Vulnerability is not defined by your mutuality and boundaries. It's not about sharing your feelings. These things can increase or decrease your exposure to risk, but they do not form its basis and it does not strongly depend on them. What does depend on them quite often is our FEELING of being vulnerable, which is often illusory and this delusion is not helpful.At one point she seems to get it. She says, “the critical issue is not about our actual level of vulnerability, but the level at which we acknowledge our vulnerabilities around a certain illness or threat.” So which is it? She is clearly using the word "vulnerability" here in the normal accepted way. This is why I'm annoyed at her. She knows what the word means, but also wants to shoehorn this weird extra thing in there.Because of this weird word abuse I find her book very hard to read. She should have said "sharing your vulnerabilities with people you trust" instead of "being vulnerable." Because the real problem is confusing the two concepts. Instead of furthering the confusion, it would be far better if she would clearly separate them.So if you can look past this recurring semantic issue and read her intentions instead of her words, it's a valuable concept to understand and can help grow. That's the way I'm approaching the book. But I really wish she would use English in an accepted way and not blame readers for misunderstanding the Truth when they object to it....

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